MindVox is powered by an 8.0-liter V-13 engine. It features dual orgone injectors and a vril supercharger; generating nearly 1.5 times infinite horsepower (@ 9000rpm).
We are fueled by a precise combination of phenethylamines, tryptamines, and beta-carbolines. On a good day this allows us to achieve superluminal velocity using quantum electronics, wishful thinking, and the souls of our enemies. Conversely, on a bad day, MindVox may just sit in a dark room bangin’ up narcotic analgesics and burning holes in the furniture, dropping lit cigarettes all over everything while nodding out.
MindVox resonates with the harmonics of all thoughtscapes, headspaces, and dimensions. It has been online since the Dawn of Time and will spin through the tapestry of shared consensual hallucinations for All Eternity. In certain locations MindVox may appear to experience cosmic turbulence and flicker out of existence, fading like a mirage. Since time is nonlinear — time, in fact, looks like an endlessly interlocking series of spirals fragmenting inwards and outward simultaneously — this phenomenon is illusory and transient; merely indicating MindVox is Temporarily Unavailable for a few minutes, decades, or lifetimes.
MindVox operates on a principle similar to radar, but is highly unstable and flying out of everything. It has an array of OC-768’s with direct interfaces to the ley-lines circling the earth. Our server farms are located at Stonehenge, the Bermuda Triangle, and a distributed-system of Lost Temples hidden at the earth’s core. The earth is hollow, conclusive and fully documented proof is available in the works of Nazi Scientist Genius: Hans Hörbiger — who should not, and must not, be confused with the Scientist in Outer Space — who exposed the whole entire truth (in its complete totality). THOSE PEOPLE, sadly, just didn’t understand.
Our NOC is housed in a floating sphere which makes use of the latest anti-gravity technology recovered from crashed UFOs, and composed of ultra-lightweight composite materials designed to absorb radio energy, subpoenas, arrest warrants, and negatively-charged vibrational fields. The VoxSphere hovers in a server room, buried 100 feet underground, on an artificial island, built atop a oil rig, encased in a space station, and spinning through the neutral zone of interdimensional space, where all laws have been repealed and Peter Thiel serves as God-King-Emperor.
MindVox runs an operating system so advanced it is incompatible with itself, but fully error-correcting. It utilizes spectrophotometric determination to weed out irregular cell morphology and is capable of compiling against the functions of an angle of incidence using a sub-femtosecond measurement of transmission delay times, in order to obtain a photonic bandgap. This will cause MindVox to drop to monitor — with or without an NMI switch — allowing you to insert a disk containing DOS 3.3, and use any zinc fingers enabled hex editor to alter the DNA.
Vox is invincible, invisible and psychotic; it enters the mind through the eye and spreads throughout the organism.
MindVox has been used for centuries in smaller doses to combat fatigue and boredom, and higher ranges, as part of spiritual initiation rituals in the Voxer Religion. MindVox HCl was first made available in 1991 and finally released as an unbound freebase on December 21st, 2012. In the very near future we hope to have MindVox available in an exciting variety of flavored suppositories, in an assortment of sizes, so that you can stick it up your ass.
MindVox sees the real you. Yes YOU, it knows that you’re so special, you’re all aglow with specialness. It finds you interesting, different, and totally unique; it loves you, lots and lots, and wants to eXchange bodily fluids.
The Truth is Out There … and if it’s not; just go ahead and make things up. Because, really, in The End (Apocalypse Now Remix), everything is always all-good. You only need to open your ears to see the truth, and understand that Saint Cobain died for our sins, Tupac was killed because he cared too much, and Jesus so loved LSD that he gave the world bisexual women in thigh-high leather boots.
Complete Documented Proof is available from the Scientist in Outer Space, upon request.
All is well. Try not to panic. Things will be even better than fine; the angels want you to be Baker-acted — no wait, wrong conversation.
We Unconditionally Love and Accept You
* MindVox is made possible by 13.23 of Thomas Dell’s karmic units, a sledgehammer, a demon kangaroo, a bowling ball, the Necronomicon, drugz, a little bear, a cog, three gears, plus, also, 10U of Larry Ellison’s soul.
The MindVox Corporation gratefully acknowledges receiving public funding from the Obama administration for the arts.